Planning the Guest List for Your Bridal Shower

A traditional guest list for a bridal shower will include the mothers and other female relations such as sisters, aunts and cousins, plus friends of both the bride and groom. In the past, it was consider bad form for the relatives of the bride to host the event, because it was thought that they would be seen to be soliciting gifts.

Instead, they often provided the venue and helped out in other ways. However, if you’re a relative as well as a member of the wedding party, don’t worry about it. Times have changed, and bridal shower protocol is a lot more relaxed and unfussy than in the past.

There are some points to bear in mind though. Usually those who are invited to a bridal shower are also invited to the wedding, so you will need a copy of the wedding invitation list. The exception is co-workers of the bride.

There generally isn’t enough space to invite the whole office to the wedding, although the bride may have included a few of her closest colleagues. In any event, as mentioned above, the bride’s place of work often hosts a bridal shower to honour the occasion, fully understanding that they won’t be receiving a wedding invitation.

Many of the wedding guests may be coming from out of town and may not be able to afford the cost of a trip to attend the bridal shower as well. Of course, not everyone who is invited to the wedding will be invited to the bridal shower.

The aim is to keep the event small and intimate, so that the bride can spend quality time with the guests. Consider a guest list that includes the bride’s closest friends, plus immediate female relatives from both the bride and groom’s families, including mothers, grandmothers, sisters, cousins and aunts. Usually the mothers of the bride and groom can supply you with a list of friends and relatives they would like included.

Another option to consider is a couple shower, where the groom is included, along with some of his friends. This can be especially appropriate when planning a friends only affair, where there are many mutual acquaintances within the group.

While this represents quite a departure from the traditional bridal shower, circumstances and preferences may suggest this is the way to go. If both the bride and groom are keen to celebrate their prenuptials in this way, then why not? Of course, a mixed event would suggest a day at the spa is out, but a barbecue is in.

By working closely with the bride-to-be on the guest list, you ensure that no one is forgotten, that duplication is avoided, and, most importantly, that she is able to experience a lovely time with people who are truly special in her life. If relatives are hosting another bridal shower for her, you might wish to narrow the guest list to a select group of her closest friends.

This might afford interesting opportunities for special outings and activities than would be possible with a more diverse group of individuals. In any event, try to keep the guest list down to about twenty people at the most. Anything more and you’ll lose that cozy, intimate feeling which is such an integral part of a bridal shower.

Once you have established the guest list, do obtain up-to-date contact information: addresses, telephone numbers, and e-mail. It might help to organize everything in a notebook, leaving spaces between each entry so that you have room to note any subsequent details. Then you will have everything you need when preparing the invitations and doing follow-up for confirmations.

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